When You Wander Too Far
by Jagoria
Summary: Imagine being trapped underground with your worst enemy. What could that do to your walls that are already crumbling down? This time, Hater will wander too far.
1. The Fall

Ok... So this is a spur of the moment fict. because this fandom NEEDS more FANFICTION. (lmao) I'm also so upset that they canceled the show... such is life. Fuck you Disney. You finally made a good cartoon and then proceeded to piss on my growing appreciation for your non- movies. (Because most of their shows suck except for this one and Gravity Falls which is also done...) Am I getting across okay? Sweeeet.

Rant aside. I haven't written a new fict. since High-school. Now I hope I can entertain and woe you lovely audience with my improved skills.

All love, encouragement and constructive criticism are graciously welcome. Because if you like it, let me know so I'm motivated to write more!

Anyways, let me know what you guys think,

Stay beautiful guys,  
~JAG

Ps... I need to come back and edit later.

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It was a slow and agonizing rise from the dead- or was it unconsciousness? To hell if Hater knew; he felt pretty flarping dead after that fall. With a long groan of discomfort and effort, his head rose, both hearing and feeling the crack of his cervical vertebrae. A few joints would have to be shoved back into place, but otherwise, it was all just surface pain. Being Lord Hater, he'd been through much worse and could come around fairly quickly. Situated on his stomach, the villain really had to turn his head and squint to see the top of the cavern. Was it even a cavern? How far had they fallen? Everything suddenly came to a halt.

Wait. Oh Grop no. Hadn't Wander grabbed onto him when they fell?

Surely enough, it only took a swivel of the eyes to spot a furry, orange arm in his view. Hater nearly slammed his forehead back down against the rock, letting out a shrill flurry of curses in frustration. Once again fate, had to be one bitch of a mistress.

Finally, he lifted his arms in order to push himself up from the ground. Well, one of them at least. The other's circuitry had been fried to the point where he couldn't even push electricity through the components. How stupid. It was his good hand too.

Hater was up on his knees now, scowling at his limp right hand. Then back to Wander. Then back to his hand. He couldn't decide which situation pissed him off more.

Speaking of his ultimate nemesis, Wander hadn't moved an inch. His ugly, green hat nowhere in sight. Perfect! He could _stay_ like that while the Great and Powerful Lord Hater called for backup. He brought his left hand up and accessed the Hater Comm. Unit.

"PEEPERS!" He yelled into his glove and a screech of gob-awful static came back to assault him. Hater winced and brought the hand as far away from his face as possible.

Apparently the left servo had taken damage too. Or the signal was non-existent down here.

"Greeeeeeeeeeaaaatttt." The super villain droned, disconnecting the device. "Today's going to one of these days, huh?"

"I dunno," a weak voice groaned. "It's not that bad really, other than this darn headache."

A disgusted shiver sprinted up Haters back on a million legs and his spine shot straight. All the air left his ribs in one solid whoosh. "Yup. That just answered it." He really didn't have the energy the scream and run about in hatred like he usually did when in close proximity with Wander.

The nomad was staring up at him with a slightly dopey look. Not quite a smile, as his head throbbed, but enough to put Hater on edge even further. "Daw, Hatey… Don't be like that. We did kinda save each other after all." It was partly true on Wander's behalf. Dominator was inches from hitting him and Hater with a blast of molten lava. He'd grabbed the Villain to push him out of the way but Haters foot slipped off the edge of a crack in the ground opening under his feet. It turned out that them both nearly falling to their deaths saved them both from her line of fire.

"WHAT!? I DIDN'T SAVE YOU AT ALL!" Never mind the lack of energy. This irritating fur ball was beginning to rile Hater up again fairly quickly. It really must have been a hidden talent. "You pushed us over the edge! We fell into a hole! My arm's broken! I can't contact Peepers and now I'm stuck down here with YOU."

"Now, now. You say it like it's a bad thing!" Wander piped up over the beginnings of a rant.

"IT IS!"

"Come on now. This is a good time to get to know each other! I don't think Silvia or anyone else is gonna find us any time soon down here. Speaking of, do you see a way out anywhere?-"

"NO, NO, NO!"

Hater leapt to his feet, albeit a bit clumsily, his eyes darting every which corner for some way out. Only one presented itself and it lead deeper into the ground. At this point, he'd take it. The All-Powerful and Terrible Lord Hater ran for it. Like a scared little girl into the mouth of the tunnel.

He maybe ran for a good three minutes in the dark, lighting his way with constant bursts of green light from his left palm. There had to be a way out. There _must_ be a way out.

The adrenaline had begun to run out by the fourth minute and he slowed to a walk, his chest gulping down air. Hater came to a full stop in the dark and stood there. Something felt off about this whole thing. Not just the fact that he'd been rushing around blindly in a network of tunnels resembling a madman, but that his reason for running hadn't followed him.

It just- unsettled him? Was that the right word?

He looked back behind him, staring at the void-like darkness from which he came. Waiting and listening patiently for the patter of small feet.

Patience for Lord Hater usually lasted the span of five seconds.

Should he go back? He wondered. Was Wander dead? Maybe he could just leave him here to die.

The thought was appealing at first, causing Hater's skeletal jaw to widen in a grin; but then the dream of ending Wander himself decided to knock around in his skull.

One thing was for sure.

Hater knew he was going to regret this.

He turned strait around and went back the way he came, deciding to walk this time. It took a good ten minutes to reach the cavern again and it was a constant mental battle the whole way.

Wander was right where Hater left him on the ground. On his back with limbs in disarray. The hat he usually wore was nowhere to be seen, concluding that it must have been left above during the fight with Dominator.

Odd thing was out of all of this was that the orange menace was asleep once again.

Hater sighed. Why the hell was he doing this again? Oh right… personal satisfaction of torturing him later. He reached down and picked up the limp Wander, making the nomad look like a large stuffed animal. The place where his head once rested had Hater gritting his teeth unconsciously. Was that blood on the ground? Was that there before? He placed Wander back on the rocky turf, none too gently and sure enough, the fur on the back of his head was matted with sticky red.

That probably wasn't a good thing. Oh well. Hater shrugged and picked Wander up again. His one hand fit tightly around the others chest and under his arms, keeping him from slipping out of his grasp. He squeezed his hand a bit, wondering how much pressure it would take to splinter the little hick's ribs. What Hater didn't expect was the whimper of pain that came from Wander's mouth. He blinked at his enemy's wounded form. It was a very… depressing noise. He enjoyed screams of pain and terror, but this seemed different.

Brain…. It's time to shut up now.

Hater grumbled and made way for the tunnel again. This wasn't meant to be thought over. Wander was just a thorn in his side. A really _long_ thorn. He could figure out how to dispose of him properly later. For now, it was time to get back to the surface.

When Wander woke up for the second time he felt sick. Not nauseous, but very dizzy. The only light he could see was a familiar green. It lit up the narrow tunnel, the ceiling just high enough for Hater to stand. Speaking of, Lord Hater, he had Wander's sneakers dragging along the rocky floor as he carried him. All the nomad could hear was the villain's steady breathing and the swish of robes as he walked.

How long had he been out for? He felt gross and sticky. Also parched and tongue-tied. How long had Lord Hater been carrying him through these tunnels?

"uh.. Hatey buddy. Where are we?" Hater stopped in his tracks and quickly brought Wander up to face him. The smaller of the two gasped in pain as the sudden movement jostled his head.

"Well, well. Look who decided to wake up." The scowl contorting his face being a normal sight for the nomad. "About time!" He then proceeded to drop Wander on his feet.

Wander wasn't ready again for what was coming and his legs crumbled under the weight of his vertigo. He did however manage to grab hold of Hater's cloak while he fell, cushioning the fall slightly.

"ow. 'm sorry." Wander wasn't looking up. His face muffled into the material of his ' _Frienemy_ 's' cloak against the ground. He could feel Haters eyes on his back. He couldn't bring himself to move an inch and it seemed to either irritate or worry the evil-doer into silence.

"Wander. Stand up."

"ah can't."

"Why?"

"My noggin's swimmin'."

Another period of silence greeted them in the dark.

Hater was the first to react to the situation, letting out a frustrated sigh and grabbing Wander around the ribs once more. "Whatever."

Once again they were back to where they stared when Wander first awoke. Only this time his feet weren't dragging along the ground. What a nice gesture, Wander observed and smiled tiredly. He was trying to stay awake. If his head injury was as bad as he thought it probably was, than sleeping was probably not the smartest idea. And what was the best way to distracting yourself? Well, conversation of course!

"Heya Hatey, so what did happen to your arm? Does it hurt? Didn't you say it was broken?" Wander could hear the distinct grinding teeth belonging to the peeved Lord Hater above him.

"I fell on it. No. And Yes." He spat into the darkness, not bothering to look down.

"Huh." Wander acknowledged none the less. It was understandable for Hatey-bo-Batey to be so grumpy. They were in a pickle after all. "Thanks for the help by the way. My legs're like noodles right now." He giggled. "My hats got bandages in it we can use. Maybe it'll help your- _ohgobwheresmyHAT!_ " The suddenness of Wanders increased pitch had Hater jumping in panic. The nomad began to struggle weakly in his grasp. "I gotta go back! I need my hat!"

"It's not there! I looked already!" Hater's voice began to rise again as well. "We're not going back either! It's been like- an HOUR since we were there!"

Wander slumped back into the other's grip and muttered a tearful, "oh."

Once more. Awkward silence. At least now Wander felt a little more awake, while fueled mostly by anxiety. No they really were _stuck_ down here.

"Ugh, Finally! Something different!" Hater's voice started the other out of his funk and he looked up. The tunnel split into two identical others. The left looked stagnant and dead, while from the other he could feel a breeze brush against the still sticky back of his head-

"We'll go this way!"

"W-Wait!" Wander yelped as Hater darted to the more ominous opening, dragging him along. "That way's got an air current! It should be closer to the surface! Hater, slow down!"

"Hah!" Hater continued his trek forwards. "Don't you dare question my sense of direction! I know the _Dark and Scary_ like the back of my hands!"

Did he not feel that breeze?! Oh wait…. Hater didn't have skin.

"Please, Hate'! I felt wind coming from that way!" Maybe he could reason with him?

"How would you know? You hit your head!" The evil overlord retaliated and quite childishly too.

Welp. He wasn't wrong there. I'll just have to believe him. Maybe he does know what he's talking about, Wander concluded. A smile creeping back into his features.

Oh boy was he wrong.

"Where… are we?" Well, at least they found some other form of life down there. This room was scattered with glowing mushrooms and Hater no longer had to keep the way lit.

The super villain had put Wander down and was now staring out into the wider cavern. His question echoing off the walls.

"Hey, it's ok." Wander chirped, "We've got light now; and look, it's no longer so cramped! Oh! We've found water too!" The faintness had begun to clear already and now the Nomad could think clearly.

"Maybe we should sleep here and head back for the other tunnel after we're well rested. I think we both need ta take it easy."

"But!..." Hater looked back at Wander, slightly panicked before trailing off in quiet agreement. He muttered something in the direction of the far wall, hopefully an 'okay' because that's what Wander assumed it to be.

"Okee Dokee, Hatey ol' Pal! I think we'll both- feel better afterwards and then we'll really find a way out!" He yawned mid-sentence. At this point, Wander made the conclusion that he wasn't suffering from a concussion. When you've lived for over a thousand years you learn to pick up on certain things. He settled against a mushroom almost twice his size and shut his eyes. It felt abnormal sleeping without his trusty hat at least at his side, but like the last time he'd lost his oldest friend he had to at least _try_ to keep his cool. As hard as it may be. Perhaps when he's more awake he'll finally hit full panic mode.

Wander could hear the shift of fabric and the thump of a back hitting the adjacent mushroom for his. Hater was buckling down for the night now as well. It was probably time to do the same.


	2. And the Trek Begins

**Honestly, I was going to take this off FFN and just post this to Archive of Our Own... and then Cat Nomad Left a really kind comment that warmed my heart. Your idea was pretty great and it's motivating me to write more! This'll still end up being a "more-then-friend" Kinda fict. But thank you sooo much for your words! It means a lot to me :) This chapters a bit shorter but I have another one thats very nearly done!**

 **Hope you guys enjoy! ~Jag**

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Wander jolted awake, his head still throbbing insistently. He groaned, knowing he should probably clean up the back of his head before any infections set in. He stood on shaken legs, muscles still protesting from the bodily shock of falling. Really though, how deep did they fall underground for the impact to be this bad? Well, it was behind them now.

The nomad dragged his dirtied sneakers to the cenote and slumped down beside it. Taking a palm-full of water, he splashed it over his face first. Boy that was refreshing! Wander decided to just dunk his head under. It would be the easiest way to take care of the dried blood. He took a deep breath and plunged forwards. Man oh man, was it chilly! He pulled himself out with a gasp and rubbed the back of his skull lightly to loosen up the guck. Blegh, was this ever nasty…

The cut wasn't deep, already having scabbed over a bit. Wander finished up, washing his hands once more in the water before heading back to his mushroom. Before he sat down again he looked over at his temporary companion and smiled fondly. Hater was curled in on himself snoring lightly and twitching now and then. Wander so desperately wished he had his hat. It could have leant poor Hater a blanket.

Speaking of blanket, was it ever getting cold down here!

Wander shivered and rubbed his arms a bit for some warmth. Despite being as small as he was, generating his own body heat wasn't difficult. Sleeping on top of Silvia's back usually staved off the cold most nights. Maybe Hater wouldn't mind a snuggle buddy? Last time they were stuck together in the 'The Pit of Perpetual Pain' Hater was freezing that night. This wouldn't be any different.

Wander crept over and crouched, gently hugged the skeletal villain's back. Hmmm, toasty… For a being made entirely of bone Lord Hater sure was darn comfortable.

Before knew it, Wander was out like a light.

At first he was a bit chilled. The pressure dropped very quickly underground. The cloak only helped slightly, but heck, whatever. At this point he was tired enough to sleep through anything.

He curled a little more into himself, hugging the furry mass in his arms without fully realizing it there. When it dawned on him, Hater concluded that Captain Tim probably just wanted some cuddles, which he would only ever allow to his Tim-Tim. He did seem to have a few less limbs than usual, but Hater brushed it off. He nuzzled into the fur, his jaw rubbing into the softness causing him to mumble in content. Why was Timmy all wet? Did he chase the Watchdogs around in the shower room again? Oh well.

The second time he buried his nose into the fluff, it made a noise. Like a whimper of pain. Tim wiggled around a bit and this had Lord Hater cracking one of his eyes open.

The screech was so loud and so close to Wander's ear that he couldn't help but scream as well.

"GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF!" Hater practically threw the small nomad across the cavern but one of the gigantic mushroom got in the way, saving him from the hard wall. Wander blinked out of his daze, still disoriented from all the sudden panic. He watched in surprised silence, watching the other throw a massive, shrill, freak-out across from him. "WANDER YOU WEIRDO! STAY AWAY ONLY _TIM_ GETSNIGHTHUGS!-"

 _Wait wuh?_ Wander cocked his head to the side, trying to decipher the tantrum and waiting patiently for Hater to calm down. By the time the other stopped screaming at the top of his lungs he was a panting mess. One arm hanging limply as the other braced himself on another mushroom. There were a lot of those in here….

"You okay, Buddy?" The question was a bit hoarse. It didn't sound quite right to Wander's own ears.

"NO," Hater heaved in some more air. "And stop calling me _Buddy_ , it's gross!"

"Whatever you say Hatey-"

"THAT TOO!"

"Well, why not? We are friends right? Hey, if you want you can give _me_ a nickname! Then it'll be A-Okay!" Wander chortled. It was only fair.

In response Hater… didn't really respond?

He stood there shell shocked. Mouth open for anything to fly in. So Wander stood up and walked over to The Great Lord Hater. Using a hand to shut the villain's jaw closed. "See!" He grinned his winning smile, "It's that easy!" A clawed hand shot up to grasp Wander by the shoulder, pushing him out of the way harshly.

"No, you _furry, tangerine_! It's NOT! I'll never be your friend!-"

And now they were back to this argument. Hadn't this all start with unintentional, embarrassing snuggling? At this point Wander was on auto-ignore. A personal 'setting' he used frequently in order to help those in need. Or at least Silvia referred to it like that. More like selective hearing…

Heh… Furry tangerine.

-"Why were you next to me anyways!?"

"Hm? Oh, I thought you would be cold cause the temperature dropped and we've done it before as well so I thought I could be your snuggle buddy!" That sentence all came out like the squeak of a helium balloon loosing air…. Lord Hater's eye twitched. Then he turned about face.

"That's only because your PALS kept _BREATHING_ down my NECK while we were in that hell hole! And I wasn't cold at all you… Moron… Come on! You're my prisoner now and we're going back to the ship so I can finally finish you off!" He stated proudly, already marching back the way they first came. What was Wander not to follow him?

The fork in the road, or in this case, tunnel, wasn't too far from their little camp the previous night… or day? Hard to tell. This time they went the way with the best air flow. There's bound to be an opening _somewhere_ for a draft to enter. Was Wander's dispute on the matter. It's not like Hater had much of a choice now. Process of elimination.

He led their merry band of two down the only path left, silent all the way. Only a few instances occurred when Wander spoke up, but each time Lord Hater shot him right back down. Did this discourage the little orange vagabond? Not in the slightest.

"Hey, Hater. Aren't theses rocks shiny? Isn't it cool?!-"

"No." Actually yes…

"And this fauna! How do you think it grew down here?"

"Dunno. Don' care." Isn't that moss?

"Do ya know what we're gonna do if there's no exit?"

"I- uuuuh." That finally got Hater's attention. They hadn't found any openings in the tunnel yet for the wind to pass through, but what if they were too small to escape from? What if there never really was a way out? What if they just kept walking around in circles until they starved to death?!- No! No…

Lord Hater inhaled deeply. There was no way in hell he would let himself die down here with his mortal foe. He was _thee_ Lord Hater! He still had a universe to conquer. Fellow villain to humiliate! A girlfriend to find… gee that'd be nice… but back to the matter at hand!

Hater couldn't come up with a reply. He'd stopped walking while his mind decided to fall apart and Wander was looking up at him with an expression of concern.

"um… Hater? You're staring at me buddy." The skeletal alien blinked, coming back to himself a little. "Hey! Don't scare me like that!" Wander continued with a chuckle, "As long as we keep our chins up, we'll find a way out! Now come on, I bet it'll be just a little further along." The nomad grabbed onto Haters good wrist before he could protest and began pulling him along.

Lord Hater instinctively pulled against the suddenly hopeful little fur ball, but to be honest, he only felt numb. Gob this was going to be the end for him. He was going to be stuck down here forever with the most annoying creature in the universe. However, he couldn't help but let the wonderer lead him forwards. At this rate he had nothing to lose.

They were heading down hill.

It didn't take a genius to realize they were walking down a slope, but it was the only way to go. It's been… maybe an hour or two since Wander began toting him along and they still hadn't found anything new.

Then the earth shook.

Both characters let out a shout of surprise as they were thrown into the right wall of the tunnel. "Oh, no… what was that?!" Wander had been knocked off his feet entirely, his eyes bulging up at the rocky ceiling. Who knew how stable it really was. Thank goodness it held.

"It's gotta be Dominator! I KNEW she'd try to destroy this planet too!"

Well… obviously. That's all she ever did. Man, that sounded much cooler in Haters head, he realized. Wander didn't bother to judge.

"We should probably skedaddle a bit faster. Gob only knows when the whole place'll come down on our heads."

Hater straitened himself a bit, looking at his enemy's shaken features with envy. He sounded genuinely afraid. Why couldn't he do that to Wander on his own? Curse that Dominator…

But yeah…. Being buried alive was a pretty terrifying thought.

"Well then what the hell are we waiting for? I'm not gonna let some _rocks_ defeat me! Let's move!"

Hater broke into a run, leaving Wander in the dust to, hopefully, follow- He was going to have to think of his word choice again later.

"Hey, Wait!" Lord hater didn't bother to look back, and he never got the chance to. The ground crumbled.


	3. Ungodly Silences

**Here! Have a thing!**

* * *

"Oh Gob, it happened agaaaaiiin." Though slightly muffled by the rubble, at least it hadn't knocked him out this time. Every inch of Hater's skull rung and all he wanted to do was lay there in the dust for a moment longer to clear it up.

"HAAAATTTTEEEER!"

He could hear something land softly close by and sprinting towards him at an alarming rate. It came to a halt by his head and suddenly there were furry hands pressing along his head and back.

"Are you okay? Come on say something! Anything!" It, most likely Wander, began to hasty remove the rubble around him, grunting with the effort of lifting the heavy pieces. "Hatey! Tell me you're still awake, please!" The panic sounded like it was growing. Hater wondered how far he could let this go. "Please, please PLEASE! Hater! Wake up! " Another piece of stone lifted off from his leg. _Ow._ He felt that one. His legs weren't artificial like his arms were. "Oh Gob darn it, COME ON!"

The rise of tone, the desperation behind it… sounded familiar. Something about going back home. The look of tears in Wander's eyes as he held Hater's hand….. Wait a minute, where the hell was this from? A sob came from the nomad and Hater decided to abandon the foggy memory -if it was that- for the present.

"Please wake up. Don't die on me buddy." There was a whimper and sniffling. Lord Hater internally sighed. Laying like this on his stomach was starting to hurt anyways.

"'m not dead."

His chin was yanked upwards by the bolts on his head, the angry motion throwing Hater for a loop. Wander looked down into his face with contrasting emotions and he stared back, utterly astonished. Then the orange lip began to tremble. Large, blue eyes pooling with tears. "Ye- you… You scared me. I really thought you were hurt. O-or…" Oh geez he's spluttering now.

"Ugh. Give me more credit here. I've survived explosions and death battles. I'm Lord Hater. Come on." The villain shuddered in disgust as the tears soaked into the other's furry face. _Gross._ Strangely he was beginning to feel bad though. What a weird thought. "Stop sobbing will ya- and let go of my lightning bolts. My neck hurts." Wander dropped him as if burned and squeaked out an apology.

Man, if only banjo-face would react that way around Hater on a normal basis. Scared! But- you know, in the _'I cower before the might of Lord Hater'_ way, not the _'Good Glorn, did I hurt him'_ way.

"Oh boy… Um do you need some help up? I don't know much about health stuff but you need _some_ help."

"I'm fine…"

"No, no. I insist! You know how I love to help."

"Wander…"

"You hurt your legs and it's only natural for me to-"

"Wander."

"-want to help you 'cause you helped me so-"

" _Wander._ "

"-I need to return the favor either way and-"

"WANDER."

"it's better if we help eachoth-"

Hater was now up on his knees.

"SHUT UP, SHUT UP, _SHUT UP_! WHY WON'T YOU STOP FLARPIN' TALKi-"

Wander fell forwards and hugged him. The rambling stopped. The yelling ceased. They were now in a vacuum of- what? Hater wasn't sure.

Should I push him off? He considered, but the cruel act fell flat in his mind. Was his enemy really that worried about his wellbeing? Why did this idiot have to be so confusing?

One hell of a sigh rushed from his chest cavity. That's it isn't it? Lord Hater concluded. I'm going insane from being down here and now I'm pitying the most annoying creature in existence. Wander enjoyed playing with his mind whether he was marooned with him or not- but this?

He placed a working hand on the back of Wander's head. The lanky fuzz ball refused to jolt away or make a sound in fear. He did however cling tighter.

"You gonna let go soon?" He grumbled.

"mpppmh." That didn't confirm _slag_.

"Fine. But if you don't, we're never gonna get outta here."

Wander didn't respond at first, only nuzzling further into the cloak. In all honesty the nomad wasn't sure what to do. By this point Hater would have already clawed him off. It almost felt like a privilege to hold onto him this long without physical retaliation. That and… he was dizzy again. "Okay. Just uh… give me just a _tinsy_ moment."

He let go of Hater carefully, staring down at his legs. Maybe all that jumping and sprinting in panic wasn't such a good plan.

"What's the matter with you? You aren't gonna pass out on me again are you?" Wander glanced up as Hater spoke, noticing the tenseness in his jaw. Then his vision began to swim in protest.

"Ohhh golly. I think I should sit-" Punctuating his statement, he fell back onto his haunches with a thump.

Lord Hater waited on his knees unusually silent. Watching the other cradle his head in his palms. The nomad chuckled bleakly, jumping back into his usual slur. "Sorry Hatey ol' pal. I jus' need a minute. Curse this gosh darn head-bump."

"Yeah, yeah. Take your time." The tone in Lord Hater's voice shifted a bit, as if actually concerned. The evil-doer decided to look upwards while he waited. How much worse had this situation gotten? To be honest it didn't look too much deeper than they already were before. The ground gave out making a crater almost two meters in length and almost two stories deep. Climbing wouldn't be too much of an issue…..

If he had his other arm.

Oh wait! In the corner there's a pile of rock stacked juuuust high enough! Perfect!

Now all he had to do was make sure his legs still worked.

Lord Hater stumbled to his feet, owing over the cricks in his knee joints. At least he was up. Wander on the other hand continued to sit in place, with knees up to embrace his head.

"You good? 'Cause I'm gonna leave without you." Wander looked up from the ground, still a bit dopey-eyed.

"Y-yeah." He stood fairly quickly on legs that literally vibrated with uneasiness. Wander stood for maybe a couple seconds before he capsized, landing on his face.

The sound of glove slapping skull rung out as Hater palmed himself in the forehead. "Are you serious right now?" A muffled sorry came from his disabled nemesis.

This was getting old pretty quickly.

Ignoring the shout of surprise that came from Wander, Hater grabbed him as he had done in the past and headed towards the stacked debris. "Do I literally heave to everything around here?" He grunted, hopping up a few flights of ironically placed stones. Wander didn't reply but Hater found himself too frustrated to care. "Ugh! Whatever! You owe me big."

Did he ever... Despite the ego he had, Hater knew he wasn't good at a lot of things. Climbing, let alone with no arms to climb with, definitely had to be up there. Time for some drastic measures. "I can't believe I'm saying this," He muttered and then lifted Wander up to his face. The next ledge he couldn't jump. He needed at least one arm. "Hey! Banjo-face! I need this arm so grab onto me or somethin'."

The nomad's eyes were foggy, clearly trying to concentrate on the individual in front of him. "m'kay." Of course, he did the one thing Hater hoped he wouldn't do, and that was wrapping his arms around his neck. "Ready wh'n you are pally…"

The villain held back a full-body shudder and aimed his good arm at the ground. If he aimed juuust right-

A bolt of green power shot from his open hand and he jumped; the boost sending him upwards with the living, fur boa wrapped around his neck -the resemblance was uncanny-. TO his own surprise, he stuck the landing on the other side of the tunnel above.

Holy hell that actually worked.

"Holy hell! That actually worked!" Hater cackled with glee. Even small accomplishments could feel great. "Wander! Did you see that? I was like all like- PSHOOOO!" The lack of answer both irritated and worried him. "Hey! Did'ya hear me? Uh, Wander?"

The alien around his neck had flown over his shoulder during his assent. Lord Hater reached around and took hold of the nomad. Had he passed out again? Or-

"Oh Grop, EW!" He pulled his hand back.

Oh wow… that was a lot of red on his glove.

"Hey!" Now he was freaked out, "Wander!" He removed the creature in name but he came away loosely from his back. The scrawny mess of orange fuzz hung limply in his arm and Hater stared in shock. The wound reopened on the back of his head and it trickled down his back and over his shoulders. The nomad had a blank expression of sleep in his features.

Oh god he was hyperventilating now…. Hater sat on the ledge of the sinkhole and placed Wander at his side. "Wander! Wake up! You're supposed to die by MY hand, not something like this!"

Maybe he should stop the bleeding? That's a great idea! With what though? His eyes darted around, finally landing on the torn edges of his cloak. Perfect.

"Welp, at least I've got more of these on the ship." He huffed, Ripping a sizable piece free and lifting the unconscious Wander into his lap. Black and red were literally the BEST colours in the universe. You couldn't even see the blood stains forming on the material! Of course he had an impeccable choice in clothing. Now how was he going to wrap this around the fools head with only one arm?

"You better be grateful… you little freak."

Lord Hater managed the task after a good ten minutes of struggle, finally getting the black cloth tight around the other's cranium. His hand was sticky and turning brownish in the air. Oh flarping hell this was soooo nasty…

Admiring his handy work for a moment after vigorously whipping his hand on his robe, he poked the nomad.

"You didn't lose too much water did you?" He asked, partially to himself. It wasn't like he knew, being skeletal and all. Fluid just went right through him. Literally.

When the other still didn't respond he stood up, taking his enemy with him in one hand. Maybe there was another pool of water around her somewhere? He glanced across the gap towards the way they came. The mushroom cave definitely remained out of the question. So Lord Hater turned about-face, venturing forwards. Wander hung from his grasp gently and he hefted the nomad further up to lay in his arm. HE had a feeling this would be a long walk.

Wander hadn't woken up yet.

Every few seconds Hater glanced down at the lifeless body on his arm. The silence almost felt painful now. At least the idiot was still breathing. If not a bit harshly…

"Wander. You better wake up. If you don't I won't be able to fulfill my dream. Killing you in front of the rest of the universe?… It means a lot." Eyes downcast, Hater sighed. Why was he even saying this? Probably to keep himself from going completely insane. Even if it meant talking to the immobile body of his arch enemy.

"I had a lot planned. Yunno? A slow, torturous demise. Putting you through every endless torment imaginable? This is just… depressing. Where the hell did all your annoying energy go? It's not cool, leaving me hanging like this." Still nothing.

"Wander?" Hater's brow furrowed. Good. Still breathing.

A name popped into his head and it was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"Sunshine-banjo-face?..."

He stopped in place. Looking blankly ahead. Where in grop did that come from? He stood there for a bit. He'd call Wander _banjo-face_ before but-

"Awh. Hatey. Yer makin me blush."

Wander fell from Hater's arm as the villain jumped in fright.


End file.
